Believe

The universe works in an enchanted, magical manner. It takes great gratification in calling out abracadabra at the most unexpected moments. Despite the sudden shock and surprise, the magic lies in the inspiration and motivation it can stimulate within a person who is on the verge of subtle surrender. I had reached that point. The adventure had become tiresome and tedious and I the captain had become so preoccupied in the voyage, that I had lost focus of the destination. In all honesty, the twenty year voyage I’d traveled had, in truth, been more like a roller coaster ride with wild and crazy highs and devastating lows, with me crashing to rock bottom more times than I care to remember. With the passing of time, the hills became so much more difficult to climb. The young have forever, while the aged cherish moments, realizing that tomorrow is not guaranteed.
In years past, I had lived my life believing in the assurance that things had to get better. With all of my faith and belief in that promise, I would lay my head upon my pillow every night to sleep and dream of freedom. For some, freedom is financial, for others, it involves matters of the heart. For me, it meant just being normal, average, and ordinary. Sounds like a modest request; one of low aspiration, doesn’t it? I dreamed of waking up on an autumn afternoon to take a simple walk thru the park and hear the brittle leaves crunch beneath my feet and listen for the Canadian geese overhead, flying south for the winter.
Through my hopeless years of morbid obesity, I lived each day looking forward to crawling into bed at night, to fantasies of dancing and running, of traveling and love. These sweet dreams became my reality, just as the moon became my best friend. Little did I know that the universe had provided me with those visions to encourage and entice, within my soul, a longing for a life that would ensure my future. There came a night, while I was lost in contented dreams, that my mind and my body plotted an intervention and without my consent, launched a plan to save my life. I awoke the next morning feeling unusual, intense, motivated and strong, and so began an unexpected odyssey which would lead me to this particular place in time.
Looking at the calendar upon my wall, I see that I am just ten days short of my 55th birthday, one that is indeed, a milestone in my life. That reality that I am still alive is a miracle that I appreciate with immeasurable respect and reverence. My 528 pound body could have given up and shut down decades ago and yet it has endured to grant me yet one more abracadabra moment. Today as I climbed upon the scale and watched the digital screen blink and flicker, I am astounded to see a number that I have not seen in quite a while. I am so surprised, that I step off and let the scale go back and recalculate, however when it does, I see the same number shining back at me. It says 277 pounds, which is, in fact the lowest number that I have seen in nearly thirty years. Now while this number may not be earth shattering to most, and an annoying, unwelcome number to many, it is a victory for me. It instills within my heart the hope, strength and courage to continue on this unpredictable adventure. Tomorrow, the scale may bounce back up a pound or two, but today I celebrate a triumph as I tip my hat to the universe and realize that I do so believe in magic!

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