There comes a point in the progression of your food addiction where you begin to say goodbye to the things you love. The wonderful events and experiences that brought joy and pleasure to your life start to disappear. In the beginning, you don’t realize it is even happening and once it becomes evident, you pretend not to notice. Eventually, when others bring the obvious to your attention or attempt an intervention, you proclaim it doesn’t matter. Becoming harsh and callous, you tell meddlesome family members to leave you alone, to mind their own business and in an effort to covertly nourish your obsession, you pull away from friends and lovers as well.
The shiny red bicycle that once carried you high into the mountains every weekend to view a spectacular Sunday sunrise, sits abandoned in the corner of the garage beside the dust laden snow skis, tennis rackets and expensive, camping equipment. It almost feels as though time stands still in the cold, silent, concrete room. The walls begin to close in, nearly suffocating you in their constraint. Afraid to encounter embarrassing situations, your home becomes a protected prison. The innocuous rooms provide shelter from prying eyes, pointing fingers and laughing children. As days slip by and the lonely hours pass, you begin to wonder how it will all end…and still you consume, gobble and devour at a frantic pace as if tomorrow were not promised. One day you awaken to ultimately realize that indeed, it isn’t. This will be the day of either your surrender or your resurrection.
Sitting alone, you will spend definitive hours evoking memories of the life you once had, as you equate it to the hell you live now. You may try to recall when your world began to unravel like a ball of yarn rolling down a staircase and you will ask yourself, have I squandered an entire lifetime of possibility, only to die a massive, isolated creature, alone and sequestered in a desolate fortress? In recanting and retracing the steps which led you to this point, you will finally find your feet at a crossroads with a significant decision in the balance. In all reality, there is no choice. Everything will boil down to commencing to live or waiting to die.
I chose life and so should you.