I felt it. That empty hollow chasm deep inside, the one that never seemed to fill. There it was, this “hole in my soul”. Its relentless cries of starvation absorbed my days and dominated my nights. The constant craving never left my thoughts, my notions or even my dreams. The yearning was perpetual, incessant and while it began, ever so silently to creep into my life, it wrapped me in a fatal grip much like the black widow spins a web around its weak and helpless prey.
The uninvited predator boldly attacked my fragile mind like a bandit stealing first my hope, my dreams and finally my freedom; and still, the longing remained; the incessant hunger for something, anything, to satiate that yearning within. Feeding the beast became my life purpose, a daily race with no tangible end. Endless hours of intense devouring and consuming in a feeble attempt fill the abyss. It began to feel almost like an intravenous transfusion with the continual pumping of food into my system as if it were the only factor keeping me alive. In all reality, it was killing me, slowly and relentlessly, it was stealing my life. The most ridiculous piece of this ghastly conundrum was the realization that I was assisting the demon in my own forthcoming demise.
At last, when the incessant take over paused, for but a moment, I found the opportunity to consider my noxious, unhealthy predicament. I sat in isolated silence and contemplated, sadly, my own exodus, and then, quite abruptly thoughts turned to a possible resurrection. My mind raced with unrelenting reasons for me to do combat with these horrendous demons. Something deep within, had forbid me to give up, to give in, or check out. Suddenly, I felt a desire that I had not experienced in quite some time. It was a passion to live again; an overwhelming, intense yearning to regain my life. An excruciating hunger to feel the sun on my face and fresh air in my ravaged lungs, forced my out of my chair and to the front door which I flung open like a madwoman! The bright light nearly blinded me as I stumbled out into a magnificent world that I had not visited in such a very long time. My heart pounded as I embraced the breathtaking energy which ignited my spirit. I stepped off of the porch and as I savored the cool, supple blades of grass between my toes, I felt the shackles relax as the blackness reluctantly surrendered its grip on my soul.